Future Insanity

Listeners and supporters, you did it again! Thanks to your help, KWVS has decided that I am competent enough to be next year's Production Director! Looking forward to kicking off next year strong and early! Like the early bird on steroids! ...Yeah! :D

Thank You

Thank you to those of you who voted for me as Best Music DJ of the Year. I had the honor of tying with Jasmin Ratansi, who has a show featuring underground hip-hop artists at areyoumyboo.blogspot.com. I could not have achieved this without you listeners, supporters and friends. I am just so glad that you enjoy my show, or are at least willing to pretend to do so! :D

A Muscles Fan

To ksquaredradio@gmail.com:

On Sun, Apr 19, 2009 at 8:30 PM, captainjack@ocsnet.net wrote
Omg! I love you Muscle! I could listen to your voice all day long! You should definitely talk more on the show!

Reply:

Thanks for emailing K Squared! Your comment is now featured on ksquaredradio.blogspot.com for all the world to see. I'm sure Muscle will try to flex his vocal cords more often because of you :)

-K^2

Velociraptor Day

Gotta say, the lesson I learned in doing this show is not how to protect me from velociraptors, but that my friends are amazing, funny and supportive. I love them and if they were to be attacked by velociraptors, I would be very sad.

And remember: Pluto exists and Brotosaurus' are now called Brachyosaurus!

Highlights:

Shawn: YES-HUH!

Heidi the Hippie: I wouldn't make the pet monkey do any tricks because that would be animal cruelty!
Shawn: Are you for real?!?

Jaxelplax: This would imply that Shawn had friends.

Shawn: I'll defense YOUR mechanism!

Jaxelplax: Is he locked out?
K Squared: I think so.
Jaxelplax: Oh my gosh, can we lock the door and not let them back in?

Muscles: When I was sick, I would dream that rats were running around downstairs.

K Squared: Ok, order in the court.
Crouton: Ahhh!! ANARCHY!!
K Squared: We went over that, Crouton. We anarchied out when you left.
Crouton: The light's not green!

Jaxelplax: It always happened in Spanish class. Holaaaaa. Si.

K Squared: Everyone remember, this is the happening that always happens!

Heidi the Hippie: This guy came onto our campus with an axe.
Jaxelplax: GASP THAT'S SO COOL!

Crouton: My high school didn't have a jewelry school!
Shawn: You must have been poor!
Muscles: Moral of the story: don't go to school in Central Cal. Pshh Central Cal.
Shawn: What a joke of a region!

LAST SHOW OF THE YEAR TOMORROW

I have gotten an adaptor that should allow me to broadcast LIVE tomorrow hopefully with many recurring guests!

Middle School Throwback

I had a middle school throwback with Michelle Branch, Vanessa Carlton, Hoobastank, Black Eyed Peas and Avril Lavigne. Who knew Outkast was so profane? This show won't be uploaded because it is music heavy and unfortunately, that means it cannot go online. Moral of the story? Try to tune in as often as possible!

FORGET THIS!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Ok, breathe. Count your blessings.

1. My laptop is still working.
2. I have Internet.
3. I ate dinner.
4. I am still alive.
5. I am not injured.
6. I learned to turn the lights on in the studio when they automatically shut off.

I was not going to write this "Forget This" post, but now I think I will. It was originally going to be titled "To Hell with This," but I thought that was too vulgar.

Why did I want to write this?

1. I was eating dinner alone next to a pillar where no one could see me by myself.
2. I didn't have a book. How lame is that? I had no way to defend myself from having a neon sign thrust above my head that flashed "LOSER. EATS ALONE."
3. Even though everyone who finds out that I have a radio show thinks it's cool, no one listens to it. I have started talking to myself for an hour for content.
4. I am barely motivated to continue. What in the world do I have to say anyway? And if I have something to say, who will listen?
5. I was thinking about this, as losers who eat alone tend to do (that is, dwell on their own sorrows), and thought, "Why am I even ALIVE?"

Why was I almost not going to write this?

1. Someone in the Caf had the gall to remove the rain from my parade.
She exclaimed, "Hey, K SQUAAAAAAARED."
"Hi," said I, my head resting on my fist (which was balled up in rage against the world), my mouth full of lettuce and cucumbers laced with balsamic vinegar and EVOO, feeling like a loser bunny.
She asked, "How's your radio show going?"
"It's going alright," I replied, my rain cloud lifting against my will as my Eeyore-ish countenance brightened (I am such a sucker for personal interaction-- talk to me or even ask me a simple 'how are you' and I will begin to think you actually care about me) and I turned my head a smidgen to face her.
"Good, good. I think I'll be tuning in tonight." I twitched as I felt her hand clasping my shoulder.
2. The world brightened, my head starting spinning with possibilities for my show. I decided I was going to name it the "A" show in honor of her. I tried to think of all the "A" things that I could use in my show. There was an Awkward encounter in the bathroom where I bumped into a friend of mine as I gargled the leaves from my teeth. There was an Awww moment as I saw a couple walking together in the dark, lifting their hands in the dark as they encountered obstacles. There was an Attractive guy who walked my way.
3. Life was now awesome. My faith in happiness was renewed.

Why am I writing this now?

1. The Internet didn't work in the studio so I ended up going on millions of tangents instead and playing random songs. What else is new?
2. I made an epic fall, complete with an "AEUGH" sound that I didn't know I was capable of making as I tripped over an uneven part of the sidewalk. I wondered if I was bleeding. Dramatically, I imagined myself injured and gushing blood, unseen in the dark of the night and my jacket. I imagined scorning all those who saw me and feigned concern. I imagined dying. Ok, I didn't imagine dying. But I was pretty melodramatic in my head. In reality, two people walking ahead of me asked me if I was ok. For all they knew, I was being raped. Unfortunately, I replied that "Yeah," I was ok. When I realized that I was perfectly fine, I worried about my laptop and how unfortunate it would be for it to have been broken. I wouldn't be able to graduate. I would have to drop out of Pepperdine and start flipping burgers and cutting hair. Actually, I would have to spend some money to buy a new one to graduate. Which almost seemed worse, because that option did not quite indulge my inner drama queen.
3. MY SHOW DID NOT RECORD. In my haste to get out of the studio and calm of being by myself having figured out how to turn the lights on, I did not click "finalize." ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Flying Solo

I guess it's a little late for spring break for this show to be up, but it still has entertainment value. After all, it's not every day you get to hear K Squared talk to herself for an hour...

The contest for the Common CD Universal Mind Control to the first caller on air Sunday 8-9p 310 506 KWVS is still going on! the next show is on the 15th of March. Oh and make my day: Look at the right column at the bottom and become a "Follower" of this blog. Or subscribe to its posts.

Have a great spring break, errrrbuddy (read: everybody)!

Tired Show

Thanks to Shawn for braving the frightening Public Safety Officer to host the Tired show and Roxy the Manager for showing up with her Texan accent and insights into coffee!

Oddly Enough by Reuters supplied the insightful comparisons between Pepperdine University (Pepperdine University Saves Substantial Time, Effort, and Money) and UCLA (Women Drawn to Men with Muscles).

Music played:

• O Valencia, The Decemberists per Shawn's request
• Tired of You, Foo Fighters per the suggestion of Youtube
• Pump it Up, by Black Eyed Peas per Roxy's request

Be excited for next week's show! It will (cross your fingers) be live at http://www.ustream.tv/channel/k-waves !! The topic is Cramming and Spring Break! All very pertinent subjects... Be prepared for tangents of epic proportions, as usual (OR UNUSUAL)!

Lawlz to the Balls

My geography isn't great either, but I wouldn't say it's BALLS! :O This from a transcript from The Takeover, broadcasted live online. Hopefully I can get K Waves broadcasted live, too!

08:33 ustreamer-12139 : What college is this?
08:33 ustreamer-8891 : pepperdine university
08:33 ustreamer-8891 : in da bu :D
08:33 ustreamer-12139 : Where is this show broadcasting from?
08:33 ustreamer-12139 : ok thanks
08:33 ustreamer-12139 : Is that in Cali? LOL
08:33 ustreamer-8891 : of course!
08:33 ustreamer-8891 : watch malibu's most wanted
08:33 ustreamer-8891 : or zoey 101...
08:33 ustreamer-12139 : Sorry my geography knowledge is BALLS.

Valentine's Day and How to Love Yourself

Track 2 of this show was A Fine Romance by Billie Holiday, a sarcastic romantic song.

Valentine's Day - It's Not So Much About the Love by Paul Majendie from Oddly Enough.

A special thanks to Preston, who adores Burgerville for Halibut Fish and chips, is indeed male (as evidenced by his dislike of chocolate) and not from California (because he has never had Avocado, and dislikes Valentine's Day because it's corporate and capitalistic. He encourages you to express your love to loved ones every day!

Music played:

• I Love You, Martina Mcbride, country singer
• 4 chords 36 songs by Axis of Awesome, a musical comedy rock band from Sydney
• Valentine's Day Song by Moosebutter, a four man comedy a capella group
• Happy Birthday Song, Arrogant Worms, a comedy a capella group (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SISTER, JESSICA!)
  

Chocolate insanity:

• Skittles Vanilla, S'mores, Chocolate Caramel, Chocolate Pudding, Brownie Batter
• Climate Change Chocolate
  

Facebook's suggestions on how to impress your girlfriend:

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better" this
will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness
(or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really, really hard until she
cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she says "you better be" , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be
her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and
every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, they usually mean the most. Then when
she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because
jewelery is for pussy's and Asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she
is, stare into her eyes mouth the words 'fuck you' and grab the other
girls ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she
thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire
yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and
now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When
she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean
over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those
special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket...
then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you
don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching
about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the
bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the
party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the
party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet.
Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10
minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like playstation.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her
self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep
down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes,
earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the
pair. This way she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt
and say "No she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy
that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a
spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on
it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking
about.

22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no.
This way she'll think you're mysterious.

23. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her
material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is
that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she
can ever get.

24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just
whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know
she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the
present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this
one that much but I think it's funny.

25. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will,
promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This
will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call
you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really
excited. Now don't call. That's also quite funny.

K Squared's amazing list of her favorite love songs:

• Truly Madly Deeply
• I Knew I Loved You
• Beautiful Love
• You and Me
• Myspace Girl hehehe
• My Heart Will Go On
• Ordinary Day
• Bubbly
• Stick Wit You
• Thousand Miles
• Somewhere Only We Know
• Love Song
• After Tonight Justin Nozuka
• Say It Again
• I’m Yours
• Star Crossed Lovers George Nozuka
• Summer Love Timberlake
• Must Have Done Something Right
• Thousand Miles
• Love Story
• Everytime We Touch
• Don’t Believe in Love – Dido

The Lost Show

New excitement:

• conflict between a new guest, Preston, and Shawn (seems to be a recurring theme)
• impersonation (of Shawn!)
• news of the collision of a US Airways plane and a flock of Canada Geese (thanks to Jaxelplax, a faithful listener who pointed out that they are not Canadian Geese, for they do not have maple leaves painted on them... as if the people of Canada, the true Canadians, do... anyway she's an English major... don't mess!)
• weather forecast: sunny and sunnier until it hits the 70's! *disco*

Songs played:

• Umbrella, covered by All Time Low, an Indie Punk band hailing from Luthervill Timonium, Maryland
• Details in the Fabric, a collaboration between two musical heartthrobs, Jason Mraz (known for "I'm Yours" and James Morrison, a UK artist known for "You Give Me Something"

Guests:

• K Squared and Shawn as hosts
• Preston as a new guest! Great impersonator of Shawn, hates road construction, loves words...
  

Definition of Original Antigenic Sin, according to the American Society for Microbiology:

ORIGINAL ANTIGENIC SIN: Original antigenic sin occurs when the antibodies produced by the body's immune system to fight exposure to the flu virus become part of the body's "memory" so that it can fight off future exposure the same flu strain. The problem is that those same antibodies end up suppressing the creation of new antibodies when the body is exposed to a new strain of the flu, making last year's flu vaccine ineffective against the newer strain. The phenomenon has also been observed in dengue fever and HIV, among other viruses.

Too Legit to Quit

K Waves is too legit to quit! Welcome to a new semester and the radio show that Roxy the Manager says, "Makes my weekend complete!" This is the show featuring K Squared and of course, Shawn, the "host buddy" that is simply "quite hilarious" according to a listener based in LA and Shanghai who calls this show some "good stuff!"

Thank you to the guests this week:

• Muscles, who drinks protein shakes, eats spleens, crushes cars, eats conundrums with mashed potatoes, and believes going green is manly! First time guest, may visit again!
  
• Marie Diodara, the voice of reason... until she makes a machine gun sound byte for the ages! But it's ok, her valient efforts to get the lights back on will cause her to be forever commended on the show...
  
• Mr. Cellophane, a silent guest, who contributed to the music selection with The Fratellis
• Crouton, the other silent guest, who contributed some laugh tracks to the show
• Jaxelplax, the informative listener and caller who let us know that the show wasn't broadcasting on the dorm TVs here at Pepperdine... but good thing we have it online!
• ...and of course, SHAWN! Awesome and optimistic, he is the expert of the on-air phones.

Music played:

• Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis; Scottish alternative band; http://www.thefratellis.com/; recommended by Mr. Cellophane
  
• Take Me to the Riot by Stars; indie band based on Montreal, CA; genre: melodramatic popular song; http://www.sadrobots.ca/; put on by K Squared
  
• You Are the Best Thing by Ray LaMontagne; American folk singer/songwriter; recommended by Marie Diodara

Did you know (ALERT! RADIO SHOW SPOILERS!):

• Santa Clauses were in high demand in Berlin, Germany
• Voluptuous is not a manly word
• K Squared Radio is like the TV series, The Hills
• Spleens are vacuums (but not according to a friend of K Squared Radio, who informs us that they are used to hold excess blood)